Breastfeeding Journey

[Below this text are many images from our breastfeeding journey. :) Yes, there are boobies in these pictures, so if you are offended by seeing boobies used for their intended purpose then maybe click away and don't view the below images.]

Today is the first day of World Breastfeeding Week 2019 and it has led me to reflect back on my breastfeeding journey. It was honestly so difficult in the beginning. So much so that I wanted to quit. And I am NOT a quitter. I was in pain and completely at a loss of how to fix it. I went to multiple appointments with lactation consultants, nursing support groups, and watched countless videos on getting a better and deeper latch.

One of my lactation consultants analyzed Nora's mouth and determined that she might have a posterior tongue tie. She couldn't officially diagnose her, but it made perfect sense to me. She wasn't transferring milk quickly, she would make clicking sounds sometimes, and nursing was so very painful. I was already three weeks into nursing this babe when we had an appointment to see about a revision. We drove from Athens down to Pelham, AL to see Dr. Baxter at what is now called the Alabama Tongue-Tie Center. We knew if she was diagnosed that she could have the revision during that same visit and we could nurse immediately after.

Big surprise- she had a posterior tongue tie and a lip tie! We opted to revise both. After the procedure, he brought her to the private nursing room where we were waiting and weighed her and then she latched immediately and began to nurse. We weighed her again after 30 minutes and she had transferred more in that time period than she normally does in an hour or more of nursing! I was shocked. It was a long recovery time of doing stretches on her tongue- which she HATED and making sure she latched correctly each time.

We ended up on a nipple shield due to the pain previously and she still preferred it so we continued using that until she was around 3-4 months old when I finally could get her to latch without it. In comes the pain again as my body had to get used to the feeling of nursing in a new way all over again. Latching was still sometimes painful and it turns out a lot of that was due to her torticollis from the way she was positioned during pregnancy. I took her to physical therapy appointments and chiropractors to help fix this. We did this for months and finally things started to change.

We kept pushing along and my goal at that point was to reach 6 months. Once I got to  6 months things got so much easier! She was nursing much more easily since her head control had improved tremendously!

My new goal was to make it to 1 year! And those 6 months flew by. Once we got to a year I wanted to start weaning her from nursing as often so we slowly started taking away sessions and replacing with bottles/sippy cups. My new goal was to make it to 16 months. Now we are here and she nurses about 2x a day- morning and night. Sometimes we go a day or two without nursing depending on what is going on. She has also gotten to have slumber parties with her local grandparents and falls asleep for them easily with just a cup of milk. When I've been away traveling she has gone to sleep for her daddy pretty easily, too. I love how flexible she has become.

I went on a longer trip in June where I was away for 4 full nights, 5 full days. During my time away I pumped just for comfort and figured I would be fine to continue nursing when I got back home to her. Boy was I wrong. My body had already adjusted to not nursing and when she latched the first time things were fine, but every time after that for a week straight it was like my nipples were on fire. They had to readjust to the feeling and it was awful. I was so very sore.

So what is my next goal- 18 months, 24 months? I am not sure what is in store for us the next few months with nursing. Some days I feel tapped out. Some days I crave that little newborn who absolutely needed her mama for nourishment. Now it is mainly for comfort and to be close and I love that, too. I find it absolutely adorable when she is whiny in the morning and makes the hand sign and whines, "Miiiilk....miiiilk". So stinking cute. So of course I want to keep nursing her and being her safe space for as long as she will let me. Does that mean we may nurse past 2 years? Maybe. I am letting her lead now. As long as she is still her sweet, independent self, I don't mind if we continue nursing to 2-3 years old. I know there is such a negative stigma to nursing older toddlers, but I really don't care what anyone else thinks about it. If it is a positive relationship between me and my child, that is all that matters. If it helps her to feel comforted and safe at night and start her day feeling cared for, then that is enough for me.

<<STOP SCROLLING WHEN YOU SEE THIS IF YOU DON'T WANT TO SEE NURSING PHOTOS>>  :)










^ Nora may have been a week or two old here. This was prior to her tongue tie revision, when we spent HOURS and HOURS each day nursing. We tried to get on an Eat, Wake, Sleep (EWS) cycle early on with her, but she was also jaundiced in the beginning and she was a 37 week baby when she was born so she was SO sleepy in the beginning. She would nurse and fall asleep so I would have to constantly annoy her to keep her awake and then of course with the tongue tie she wouldn't transfer much so nursing sessions were incredibly long for us. I was always so exhausted! I pumped too and we used formula some as well in the beginning so that I could at least get a little rest during the night and just wake and pump instead of feeding and pumping since we had to supplement nursing sessions. We were using a scale at home to transfer weigh her to see how much she was getting during each session too. As I said- exhausting!



^ Her summer hat made such a great nursing cover last summer! lol And to the bottom right of this photo you see something that is round and yellow- that is what I stored our nipple shield in so we must have still been using that in this picture. It made nursing more of a hassle because you had to clean it between each and every session.







^ We took many walks in the neighborhood and I learned how to nurse on the go. In this picture I was also pumping on the other side and had my pump in my backpack. I was all about some multi-tasking when she was a tiny one.







^ Discreetly nursing at one of our MANY visits to Chicken Salad Chick in Madison. Many of the employees there know Nora by name because we've constantly visited since she was born. When I go there on lunch breaks they ask me when I am going to bring her by and how old she is now!



^ I remember being so nervous nursing her at Concerts in the Park last year. But I just did the thing and it was fine. Empowering even.














^ This was taken during World Breastfeeding Week last year. I was finally feeling confident about my ability to nurse in public.









^ I attended an event for World Breastfeeding Week where there was a photographer who offered mini sessions for nursing and family photos. I will cherish these photos for years.







^ This was taken in Washington, D.C. during our trip for my WGU graduation. Nora was exactly 6 months old in this photo. It was our first big trip as a family of three and we had such a great time! ^









^ I found several photos of Nora nursing in interesting positions. It was hard to get a photo showing just how ridiculous this was- but she was seriously standing or squatting down and nursing.








^ Nursing on Valentine's Day! Nora was 11 months in this photo! :)



Now that she is definitely a toddler this is how she nurses most of the time. In interesting positions like this one! We mainly nurse at night or first thing in the morning so this is one of the last photos I have of us nursing. We may do another nursing photo session before we finish nursing for good- whenever that may be. But toddlers rarely stay still for long so I soak up these moments when they happen.